You know when you've got about half a serving of Ranch dressing left, and damned if you didn't forget to pick up a new bottle last time you were at the store? Phyllis has a remedy - just add water!
Poor Dad was introduced to this the hard way one evening at dinner. He upended the bottle of what he thought was Ranch, and his salad was inundated with watery, beige-ish liquid. Immediately, he checked the expiration date, but, surprisingly, the bottle was still new. Mom saw his perplexed expression and cheerfully told him that she had extended the life of the dressing by as much as several weeks by adding tap water to the remaining dregs and shaking vigorously. Voila! Now we had half a bottle of dressing, thanks to Phyl's creativity!
Unfortunately, nobody else has found this to be a pleasing subsitute. We eventually had to start clearly marking the old bottle of Ranch ("Phyl's Dressing) so that we wouldn't end up with our plates swimming in heavily diluted, watery, tasteless dressing. In the year or so since Phyl first came up with this idea, she has put a spin on it by adding Tabasco to the concoction. She insists she prefers it to original Ranch and is constantly trying to get us to try her recipe. Mmm, leafy Romaine with off-white Tabasco-flavored water on top!
What I don't get is that Mom is a really, really good cook. She can make any recipe well and can usually improve upon the original. So why, when it comes to salad dressing, is she so bizarrely tasteless? I think I've figured it out:
My grandma smoked while pregnant.
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