Okay, so, I was rushing around getting ready this morning and I just pulled on the blue jeans I had worn yesterday, because I feel like blue jeans, much like bras, can be worn approximately 2 million times before you have to wash them. The jeans are really stretchy and comfortable. This is an important fact to keep in mind.
I rushed through my hair and makeup and sprinted to church and was only a few minutes late. We ate lunch and talked to everybody and then took Charlie to the pumpkin patch down the road from our house. We wandered around and made friends with a family who had a little boy about Charlie's size.
Mom and I were standing near the bouncy house and she said, "Sam, where did Princie kick you that left scar tissue on your leg?" (My horse stomped on me when I was about 12 and left a raised area of scar tissue on the inside of my left knee.) I showed her where the spot is and she reached down and felt the area and said, "Is that what that is? You have a big lump there! What is that?" I too reached down and realized that, in my haste to dress, I had yanked on my jeans WITH MY DIRTY UNDERWEAR BALLED UP INSIDE THEM and had NOT NOTICED because the pants are so stretchy, and then I had TALKED TO EVERYONE AT CHURCH and MADE SOME NICE NEW FRIENDS with what appeared to be a LARGE SQUISHY TUMOR above my KNEE. I had to go hide behind the bouncy house and dig in my jeans and pull them out, and then hide them in Andy's cargo shorts pocket. It was almost as embarrassing as the time I got my finger stuck in a Lysol wipes container and ran through city hall screaming and I had to be cut out by a maintenance man.
Phyllis gets a free pass on whatever ridiculous thing she does next.
