Thrifty Regifting

So Mom decided to buy some new underwear, but she didn't want to buy the "expensive" kind that are loose on a shelf and that you can, with proper precautions, try on at the store. Instead, she got the Hanes 6-pack from Wal-Mart. She tried on one pair when she got home and apparently they did not meet with her expectations; she and Dad met Andy and me in the church parking lot last night and she shoved this opened package of underwear into my hands:

 I was looking at them, trying to figure out if she was intentionally insulting me, while she explained. "I don't like these boy shorts underwear. You see if you like them. I'm wearing the bright yellow pair and they're not comfortable." She must have seen the look of disbelief on my face, because she snapped, "They are PERFECTLY GOOD. I just don't like the way they fit. And don't you DARE throw them away. If you don't like them, give them back to me. I paid good money for them." I was still just staring forlornly at the ripped-open package when she added the clincher. "If you really like them I'll wash this yellow pair and give them to you!"

I shouldn't have been surprised. Once, she found a hair clip in a parking lot. In a PARKING LOT. She ran it through the dishwasher and gave it to me. I am not joking. I am also not joking about the fact that she still has it, because it's "perfectly good."

To summarize: I love my mother and she is a wonderful person. If she gives you a present that does not have a tag on it, wash it before use.