'Yakin' With Spike and Peepaw

Dad, whom little Charlie often refers to by the super-cool title "Peepaw," got a couple kayaks recently. He is very pleased with them and even put one in the swimming pool as soon as he brought them home, happily rowing himself about in the deep end for a while. He's taken the kayaks out into the Gulf, out on a lake or two, and down a couple rivers. They're pretty fun and we all like to tag along on his little kayaking trips, especially his friend Spike.

Spike is also a middle-aged retired military guy and he and Dad pal around and do lots of activities together. Last summer they even hauled Dad's fifth wheel on a church mission trip and stayed in it together. Dad told us about how they parked the camper next to a lake and turned the two armchairs towards the window to watch the sunset. All I could picture was that Cialis commercial with the two people in the random outdoor bathtubs holding hands and gazing at each other.

So, anyway, Spike is Dad's go-to kayaking partner. Dad recently decided to up the kayaking ante and try one of the larger rivers in our area, the Pea River. As he planned and plotted their cute little route, Mom and I came up with a name for their adventure: "'Yakin' the Pea with Spike and Peepaw." We imagined them filming a cable-access outdoors show as they floated down the chocolate-brown Pea River, commenting on the various snakes raining from the trees and paddling faster when they could hear banjos. They had a fine time and did not capsize or drown, and none of the snakes turned out to be poisonous. The only hiccups occurred when they had to portage their kayaks a short distance, which I'm sure was an awe-inspiring sight, and then Dad snagging his vessel on a stump and drenching his sandwich. Poor Peepaw. But, soggy sandwiches aside, they had a lovely 'yak.

And, more importantly, I composed a theme song for their television show:

If you're an outdoorsy person
Then we know what you'll like:
'Yakin' with ol' Peepaw and Spike!

If you're into snakes and alligators
Hop in your 'yak
And wave to the haters!

You'll have a great time
And make memories, I bet
We sure hope your sandwich doesn't get wet!

Grab your bugspray
And say, "Yeehaw!"
You're 'yakin' with Spike and Peepaw!